Oops, I did it again!

Hello humans! 

Thank you for your visit to my blog.

I have a big revelation this week, I have shaved my head… again…

The 1st time I did it was early 2015 and I really liked the experience, but I didn’t repeat it. The reason for this was mainly because at that point in time I was thinking about  looking for a new job soon and unfortunately your appearance matters.

I never want my appearance to interfere with my skills and knowledge and distract the interviewer. I want the interviewer to focus on my CV, on my answers, but we all know other soft details are taken into consideration, how you enter a room, how you shake a hand, your tone of voice. This is how humans are built and we have to learn how to work with this, but because of the job search I decided to grow back my hair.

Now I am in a much more comfortable job situation and I am not planning to hunt for a new job soon. I work in a place where my colleagues know me, they know my work ethics, respect me for my input and quality of my work. My appearance now is a side variable, if I have long hair or a buzz cut, they don’t care. 

I had been thinking about doing it for some time now, but I hesitated. The reason I hesitated, which I don’t like to admit, but the honest truth is that I don’t want to deal with other people’s reactions to my shaved head.

I had a few experiences in my life where I changed my hair length dramatically and every time I did it people had very expansive reactions. Unintentionally you kind of become the center of attention, because other people around are making such a fuss, but you are just trying to move on with your life. Majority of the people do it without thinking, this thing that a woman’s appearance and especially a woman’s hair is for public appreciation is a patriarchal lens that is very pervasive, so they think it is Ok to publicly comment on your hair change. 

Women’s hair length has been studied and affects men’s attraction, we are biologically built to try to determine a woman’s age and fertility, by her hair length. To this, add thousands of years where women’s hair length was kept solely for men’s pleasure. There is science behind it and there is a patriarchy in place that still pushes all to think women’s appearance belongs to the public eye. To this I say “bollocks!”, it’s my head, my hair, I own it.

To make this clear, it is OK if someone says “wow, you’ve cut your hair, interesting choice” and then moves on. Another thing was, which was what I’ve experienced myself, is to have a work manager shouting across the office “OMG WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?”. This obviously made other colleagues  look up to see what was happening and chiming in on my new haircut. Even though the majority made positive comments, I felt I was a science project, where everyone was looking from the outside and making a remark, almost as if I was not there. That made me feel uncomfortable. 

So yes, I took a few weeks to prepare myself for society’s comments on my buzz cut, but I’ve done it and that is what it matters. 

I am happy, I really like it, it is obviously super easy in the morning to get ready. This look allows me to play with the gender binary. As expressed before, I like to navigate the female and male world, I like to look ambiguous sometimes. Sometimes I want to look more masculine, sometimes I like to explore my femininity and this haircut allows me to explore both ends.

Also to be very honest, I look F***** good!

I am Franca and this is personal.

Sir Elton John

Hi humans, welcome back.

I have just watched the Elton John biographical movie and it came to my mind how much I admired him when I was a kid.

I loved his exuberance, flamboyance and his huge amount of sunglasses and hats. I always thought “I wish I could dress up like that”. 

When I was a kid, about 2 or 3 times a year my parents  would take us on a day trip to Spain. We would mainly cross the border to buy groceries, which at some point were cheaper than in Portugal.

The best part of the trip was that we would visit these department stores that for me and my sister, were the best place in the world. The department stores name is EL Corte Ingles and now it exists in Portugal as well, but not in the days. I am referring to the late 80’s, early 90’s.

The store was huge, shiny, with so many sections and variety.  One of my favourites sections was the sunglasses and hats aisles. I had never been in a place that allowed customers to simply take the items and try them on without having a sales assistant help. I would go to those sections and spend so much time trying sunglasses and hats, asking my sister if I looked like Elton John.

Sometimes I would come up with other imaginary characters and pretend to be someone else with a super interesting life.  I would put the glasses back on the rack and think to myself that “when I grew up, I am going to buy as many sunglasses and hats I would want”. I was right!

I hope Sir Elton John knows he has inspired kids all around the world with his style.

Here is a link to the movie trailer, I do recommend it.

I am Franca and this is Personal!

Bling Bling

Hi humans,

Welcome back. 

One of the purposes of this blog is to show to the world, you can develop a personal style, without spending a lot of money.

Obviously one of the things you can do to save money, is to look for 2nd hand items. Some people prefer going to vintage stores, others prefer to do their research online.

I personally don’t like 2nd hand stores as they are usually disorganised, big amounts of clothing are hanging on  small spaces, where it is very hard to see the pieces.

I prefer shopping online and the platform I use the most is Ebay. I like shopping but I don’t want to spend hours and hours doing it. I know my size, I know the brands I like, I know the piece I am looking for. I type this on the search bar and I get tons of results, then I can filter according to my criteria, price, size, etc, etc. The process is so much more efficient, I prefer it.

While browsing for party dresses, due to the upcoming wedding, I found this precious, precious thing. I had no doubts I wanted to bid on this dress and I was crossing my fingers I would win. When I won, I was super happy.

When I received it and tried it on, it fit great, yet there are 2 negatives about this dress:

1- Clothes with sequins and/or beads, if there is friction, the beads/sequins will fall out. This happens to any garment heavily beaded. Get used to the fact, you will hear and see sequins/beads fall out. 

2- The cleavage is a tiny bit big for my chest. I have small boobs and so the cleavage closes low in my chest. I didn’t get demoralized, because this is something common that happens to me. What I do to resolve these situations is, either use an inner pin that closes the cleavage at a higher part of my chest. The other option is, I wear a nice bra underneath, so even if the cleavage opens a bit more or I bend over, my boobs are taken care of and in a secure place. 

After I received the dress at home, I realized the dress was much more elaborate and high quality than I expected so  I decided to research the retail price of this piece. This dress is a collab between 2 brands, And Other Stories X Rodarte. 

I was really surprised when I saw the retail price of this dress was around £200, when I bought it for less than £25.

I love this dress, I can’t wait for an occasion where I can wear it. But after 2020/2021 pandemic/lockdown life experience, I might as well wear it to go grocery shopping at Sainsburys.  Who cares? I used to work in Chelsea, Kings Road and I used to see all those posh ladies going grocery stopping in full length (real) fur coats and I was like “Work it, B*tch!”.

I am Franca and this is personal.

Dress revelation

Hello everyone,

Hope you enjoyed my previous post. 

Do you want to know which dress I ended up choosing and why??

I ended up choosing the blue dress. The reasons why I decided for this dress were:

  • The wedding was going to be in the UK Midlands which is usually colder than London. It was a wedding in April and you never know what weather you are going to get here in the UK. As a default state, I am always cold in this country. The blue dress was the one that was longer and had ¾ sleeves, so I thought I wouldn’t be as cold compared to the other options I had. I also liked the dress was classy with an over the knee length, but at the same time had an open back, which I love.  
  • I didn’t want to be overdressed and consequently overshadowing the grooms. I thought this was a classy blue shade that would pop with the sun light, but at the same time not stealing attention.
  • I wanted to wear my mothers vintage fur coat and I thought this dress would match the coat style.

To complement the dress I also wore:

  • Blue sparkling fishnet tights, that brought a bit of sparkle to the look.
  • A heart shaped black sequin clutch, bought 2nd hand on Ebay.
  • Snake print BCBG Max Azria shoes, also 2nd hand bought on Ebay. 
  • My mothers gifted fur coat.
  • Vivienne Westwood earrings.

I actually don’t have a lot of photos of my look, as I strongly believe that constantly taking photos removes you from the experience you are taking part of. 

I am waiting for the photographers’ proper photos to share here, but in the meantime I can share the photos the other guests were kind to share with the group. 

I loved all the dresses I tried on, but I personally like this one because it has a very good cut, it drapes very well on my body and the fabric is very easy to take care of. 

I am Franca and this is personal!

Wedding Preparation

Finally after many, many hurdles, covid-19, lockdowns, etc, etc, my best friend’s wedding went ahead recently. I was very excited.

I was hopeful there were no unexpected things stopping it from happening, to get out of London for  a few days, to actually attend a party. God knows it has been a while since we have been able to go to a party/gathering. Happy to see other humans and happy to take part in such a happy event, the wedding of two people who love each other.

When I have an important event to attend, I usually do some trials at home to see what I am going to wear on the day, check if I have shoes, clutch, jewelry, or if I need to buy anything.

After confirming what I am wearing on the day, I also check what I am going to do in regards to make up, hair, etc. The purpose of this is to arrive on the day knowing exactly what I am wearing, what make-up will I do, what hair-do I will have, with no hesitation and not having unexpected delays.

There were  few things that crossed my mind:

  • It was my  first wedding at a  registration office, I was unsure how dressed up people could/should be. I was unsure if there is a protocol for these types of weddings.
  • It was in the Midlands, meaning the weather is usually colder there than in the south of the UK, so I should be prepared for colder weather.
  • Since it would be a small wedding due to covid-19 restrictions, would the other guest bother to dress up, could I possibly be overdressed and overshadow the grooms?  This is something you definitely don’t want to do, after all it is their day.

With all this said, I want to share with you my dress tests, where I just put on dresses and some heels and see how I look.

Blue dress: And Other Stories, bought online, 2nd hand on Ebay.

Red dress: Zara hand me down. I have this dress for around 7 years now.

Python print dress: Biba, also a hand me down. It was given to me by the same friend who gave me the red dress.

Sequin dress: And Other Stories, bought online, 2nd hand on Ebay.

Let me know which one you like best!

Which one do you think I chose? Leave your guess on the comment section 😉

I am Franca and this is personal.

We are social beings

Hey everyone it has been a while. Lockdown has definitely affected my mood, clarity and direction.

There are moments where I am ok with my solitude, there are other moments when I’m just fed up and want things to go back to what they were.

Yesterday I had a great day by myself, and had a tinny taste of normalcy. The weather was great this weekend, which you won’t hear me say often while living in the UK, so I decided to wake up fairly early for a weekend and went to central London. 

I really like doing this every once in a while. Go window shopping on New Bond Street, check the tourists on Piccadilly Circus, walk around my beloved Soho, do some shopping on Regent Street or Carnaby Street.

I loved it, it wasn’t crowded and stores are doing a great job at managing the amount of people inside the stores, which made me feel safe. 

I went to a few shops, but I have behaved very well, I didn’t buy a lot of things. I only bought some new tights, since I am having a wedding coming up and wanted brand new sparkling tights. Bought some bras that were on sale and exchanged some points for 2 gifts in the Vans store. I got a new tote bag and got new shoe laces.

It was so good to take the tube (it’s unbelievable I now say these things hahahaha). One of the things I love about living in London is going out and looking at other peoples looks and styles. Every once in a while there is someone that stands out, or you find someone with a simple detail, that makes you wonder what type of person they are. I am that curious. 

It was great to see other humans and people enjoying the sun, simple as that. I came home happy.

My style yesterday was Spring inspired. I wore light green tones and earthy tones, topped up with some sparkling pinks shades. Hooo yes, it was sunny enough to actually wear shades, amazing! Check it out below.

I’m Franca and this is personal.

What I wore:

New Levis jeans, I bought last year on sale.

COS jumper, 2nd hand, bought on Ebay.

Lime green Adidas Gazelle, bought 2nd hand on Ebay.

Monki denim jacket, bought on sale about 2 years ago.

Vivienne Westwood bag, new. Last year I have received a bounus for my good perfomance and I decided I deserved a present, so I bought this bag. I ador Dame Vivienne Westwood.

Acne

I am a 37 year old woman with acne, I have had acne since I was probably 12/13 years old.

I knew I was going to have acne, since I was a little kid, it runs in the family so I was kind of mentally prepared for it. I was not close to understanding the repercussions it  would have on me, having acne throughout my life.

The reason for my  consistent acne is a condition called polycystic ovary syndrome (POS). A very simple way of explaining the condition is that my ovaries produce high levels of “male” hormones, more than an average woman and one of the side effects is nodulocystic acne. This is a type of acne that you cannot cure with soaps and creams. 

I have been in and out of dermatologist for most of my life and one memorable moment I had was when my dermatologist  told me “You will never stop having acne, you can only learn how to manage it”. I have never forgotten this statement since she shattered any hope I had left. 

Acne runs you down. Sometimes I would feel it was eating me up from the inside. It corroded my self-esteem and made me shy away from the world. It made me a depressed teen and made me think I was worthless and no one would ever love me. I hated my skin, I hated how ugly and deformed it made me look, how people would comment on it, etc. I hated the treatments and drugs I had to take, to control “this beast”. I struggled a lot, for many years. 

A negative side effect of having constant acne, is that I have also developed a bit of dermatillomania or excoriation disorder, which is a condition when you pick your skin when you feel anxious or stressed.  I am constantly trying to stop this old habit.

Sometimes I think that acne will never “leave me” even if I was able to reach clear skin, since it had such a big impact on my personality, during my teen development years. 

Eventually a moment came when I started to learn more about self-care, consequently self-lovel, and I can now say I have reached a point where I am OK with it.  I still don’t like having acne but I have learned how to control it, I have also learned how to control how acne affects me mentally and emotionally. 

One thing that helps me is being thankful for what I have (healthy body), rather than being upset for the things I don’t (clear skin). When I look in the mirror and I don’t like the scars I still have on my face and back, or I have acne popping up in my face, neck or back, I think to myself “You know what? I have an amazing body, I am healthy, I am smart, I can do sports that I love. Acne won’t stop me from being the best version of myself”. I have finally found a mantra that soothes me. 

I am Franca and this is personal.

Summer 2020
Summer 2020

Hats have shape.

I am all for experimenting and trying new things, new perspectives, but there is something I am not willing to budge, which is hat shapes.

Hats have shapes, a structure that should be kept while wearing it, I think this is beautiful.

I have found this amazing page with all the different types of hats, names and shapes: https://fashionsizzle.com/2015/10/24/types-of-hats/, check it out.

Yet, it is very frequent to see people wearing berets, but pulling them so deep in the head completely destroying the shape of the hat. 

If you are wearing a basque beret, then you should keep the rim of the hat inside.

Yes

No

If you are wearing a military beret, these usually have a leather strap rim around it and this yes, should be showing. 

I really don’t get why some people push the berets so dep in their head. What do you think?

My name is Franca and this is personal.

What The Sticker On Your Shoe Means.

Recently I have bought a couple of boots on Ebay and I had my doubts about the upper material on one of the pairs. 

I knew the shoe label provides the information for the materials used to construct the shoe,  but I had never bothered to actually investigate the meaning of the signs.

The shoe label is divided into two columns and each column has three categories. The left column is the three parts of the shoe and the right column shows the materials used for the part. 

I have found this diagram to show you the meaning of the label:

By the way, one of my pet peeves are people that don’t remove the labels from the shoe. It is so ugly to see that when you are walking behind someone, or when they are sitting down with their legs crossed. Some people don’t even  remove price tags, if they are glued to the bottom of the shoe. 

No, no, no please, please remove these tags. I honestly appreciate it, thank you.

My name is Franca and this is personal.

How to do a personal budget.

Following my previous post, I have decided to explain how to make your own personal budget.

It is not hard, don’t think that if you were not good in maths in school you won’t be able to do one. Don’t let anyone convince you, you cannot manage your own finances.  Trust me, my grandmother  was illiterate and she ran a business by herself because she knew this basic rule.

This is as simple as Income – Expenses = Surplus. 

Income is everything you receive per month.

Expenses is everything you pay for, or spend money on per month.

Surplus is the amount you have left, after your pay your essential expenses.

Your objective is always to have a positive surplus, this means your income is bigger than your expenses. It means you have money left, after paying all your bills.

You can have a negative surplus, it is called a deficit. This means your income is smaller than your expenses and it means your income is not enough to pay all your bills.

Income can be your wages, benefits, parents allowance, etc. It’s all the money you get every month.

You can split income in two categories:

Reliable source of income is when you know, for sure, you will get that amount every month. This can be your wages or benefits payment.

Unreliable source of income can be a parents allowance, ex-partners allowance, a side job you may have. It is any money that you may or may not receive. The payment dates can vary, as well as the amounts, some months you may get £100, other months you may only get £20 or £0.

Expenditure you can also split in to two main categories:

Essential expenditure are all the expenses you have monthly, that you have to pay such as rent/mortgage, utilities, food, medicines, mobile + internet, insurances, school fees.

You should always pay your housing expenses, food, education bills/fees, insurances, first. These are items you cannot survive without. 

Non-essential expenditure are expenses that fluctuate, that you may spend money that month, or not. These can be a massage, nail appointment, dining out. It is everything that if you can’t afford this month, you may afford next month. These are items you can survive without. 

This is not hard, right?

You can do your personal budget in so many different ways:

  • Pen and paper
  • Excel spreadsheet
  • You can use an App. Please bear in mind that many of these apps will have access to your personal data.

It doesn’t matter how you do this, but it is very important that you do it.

Many of the bank apps have budget tools and you can visualise how much you’ve spent on different areas. Be aware that some items will be mixed up together and it will not give you a true reflection of your expenses. Example, my supermarket bill will include my food bill (essential expenditure) but may also include magazines (non-essential expenditure). 

If you do your own budget, you can split these two items, food at the top since it is an essential expenditure. Magazines will go at the bottom, because they are non-essential expenditure. If I can’t afford Vogue this month, I will survive and can consider buying it next month.

I will  leave here a link if you wish to get more information about doing your own budget: https://www.stepchange.org/debt-info/income-and-expenditure-financial-statement.aspx?channel=ppc&gclid=CjwKCAjwz6_8BRBkEiwA3p02VTIX02JZ2DfD2o78B0Bl3AzN_L74QrDs4a8-pqjf01OMpcwVzgoB9xoCfdQQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

I also want to highlight on this post, one tool that will help you make automated savings. Most bank apps offer round-ups and this will allow you to save money, without you even noticing it. I use these tools a lot and I can assure you, it works.

These tools will round-up all your transactions to the nearest £1. Example: I pay £1.60 for a coffee, £0.40 will go to a savings pot.  After a year or so, you’ll see how much money you saved!

You can of course set an automated payment instruction to save a specific amount every month, if you are that disciplined, great news.

Listen, this is simple! Once you control your finances, you will feel so empowered and you will be able to save and afford a new pair of shoes or maybe a new trip. I am saving for a trip I want to do in 3 years time.

If you have doubts, please let me know. 

My name is Franca and this is personal. 

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